Thank You
A tribute to Timothy Lowrey
Tim and Emily offered me an opportunity to experience a new life. A life of long lasting relationships, a life of maintaining and building my flouncing ability.
On a Friday evening in May of 2022, I was on the phone with my mother. “How are you doing?” I asked.
“Fine.”
Two years after Dora, my partner of twenty-three years, died of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis(ALS) and my days were lonely, empty and routine. I tended to the yard every morning after tea. I read and petted Boots and Midnight.I attended ALS advocacy meetings during the day and talked on the phone with my mother in the evening. Everyday, the same conversation. “So, what are you doing?” I asked.
“Nothin’”
“I thought you would be doing something,” I said.
“That’s what you get for thought in’”
At that moment, a message came into Facebook Messenger from Emily Lowrey.
EMILY - Are you going to the I AM ALS Flag event?
For two years I advocated with I AM ALS serving on five of their seven teams. All of the meetings were held over zoom so I hadn’t met anyone in person yet. The Flag event would’ve been a perfect opportunity, but I couldn’t afford it.
KATRINA - I’m working toward it.
EMILY - Tim and I can get you a ticket for $11 on a non stop Southwest flight from Jackson to Baltimore. We can pick you up at the airport.
I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Why? I didn’t serve on any teams with Tim at that time. In my way of thinking I was undeserving and I had nothing to offer. I couldn’t pay my bills. My ID was expired. I had no shoes. This would be my first time flying without Dora.
KATRINA - Yes!
On May 11, 2022. I boarded the flight and cried all the way to Baltimore. The flight attendant gave me extra cookies. My tears had passed when I met Tim and Emily at the airport. Emily jumped out of the car and ran around the car. Tim opened the passenger door and got out. They both hugged me. It felt so good to be hugged, to have people excited to see me, to be a part of a team.
When we reached the area where volunteers setup the flags, we were excited to meet people for the first time. This was the first time I was in the presence of people living with ALS. Up until this point, Dora was the only person living with ALS I’d engaged with. Though I’d fallen in love with this community over the past two years, would I be able to successfully and productively engage in person?
At the Hotel
I was so focused on what I didn’’t have, that I hadn’t given any thought about where we would stay. When we pulled up to the Water Gate Hotel, I was speechless. In disbelief, I watched the Bailman load my Walmart Suitcase atop Emily and Tim’s suitcases. We followed him into the hotel, then we were escorted to our rooms. My room had a balcony overlooking the xxx
While Tim napped, Emily and I adorned ourselves in the hotel’splush, white robes. We was rich, glamorous women of leisure. Nobody could’ve convinced us otherwise.
Later that evening, at dinner in Tim and Emily’s room, we laughed and joked. I learned that they had relatives in Alabama, Tim was a pharmacist and their pudog’s name was Paco. I made a mental note to hire my friend Michelle to paint a pet portrait of Paco. I learned that Tim wanted to create a panel series to educate preservice medical professionals about ALS. I learned that Emily and Tim loved each other very much, they worked as a team and they loved to rehab old houses. Dora loved to rehab houses.
“We are going to the Lincoln Memorial tonight,” Tim said. “Would you like to go?”
“Yes.”
The next morning at the Flag Event, I was so excited! This was my first time flouncin’ in person!
Tim and Emily offered me an opportunity to experience a new life. A life of long lasting relationships, a life of maintaining and building my flouncing ability. They offered the opportunity of travel, of laughter, and an opportunity to face my fears. They offered me the opportunity to be admired, to navigate a new place and the strength to be present. They offered me the opportunity to advocate for ALS treatments and cures in my own way - with a Flounce and a smile. They offered me the opportunity to find my place in the community of the dying and broken hearted. They offered me bravery, courage and boldness. They offered me my voice, permission to cry and permission and a space to tell the hard truths. They welcomed me - the whole me- not just the feathers.
Last week, I was offered the opportunity to say thank you. “Tim, this is Katrina Byrd. I love you. Thank you for all you’ve done for me and others. Thank you for loving Emily. Thank you for being in this life. I flounce my boa at you.”